xmas 2010

With Love Chartreuse Christmas Card

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I LOVE LOVE LOVE Shutterfly!! I have made numerous photo books, two baby announcements and lots of prints from this wonderful website! Clearly, you should too! They seriously have the best variety and very modern designs! I get so excited when I see those colorful little bubbles come to my doorsteps!! Thanks Shutterfly, you have done it again! Seriously...

Men are mentally disabled...

Ok, this is a husband bashing post. If you do not care to hear the rest of this, please click the x!! I am writing this post with the utmost respect and love for the man I married. He, like myself, is far from perfect. I get that. However, this is America, Land of the Free, and I can say whatever the hell I want to. So here the story goes...


Our beautiful 2 year old is refusing naps. Completely. With every ounce of her being. This is not ok for her momma. Momma needs her to nap. Not because I want the alone time. She NEEDS the nap. I call my husband, who is farming, to tell him that a certain 2 year old is coming to ride with him. I tried for 2 and a half hours to get her to nap. I needed a break as did she. He says I will be home in an hour. Perfect, our 11 year old has a school dance tonight and I am taking three girls. He can take them. Along with said 2 year old. He gets home and informs me that he is taking the trailblazer so no room for 2 year old. I cry. I say ,take the van. He says he is going to see if the tire place is open so he can get the tires rotated on trailblazer. I cry harder. Seriously, what planet is he on that he does not understand simple communication. I CLEARLY expressed that I needed a break. He then calls me and tells me that he is going to stop by his sisters house to say hi since we were invited to go carve pumpkins tonight. I say LIKE HELL YOU ARE!!! I think he finally got the hint. Although, I say that and I am sure he will say something equally stupid before I go to bed. Calgon, take me away! Seriously...


The only thing that keeps me from going insane is this! Enjoy and you're welcome!

Someday...

I will get sleep, have a clean house, have friends that aren't my daughters friends' parents. Someday I will be able to go to the post office without burning 200 calories trying to get the double stroller out of the van, loaded, kids buckled and then get inside to realize I forgot my package to be mailed...at home. Someday, my cabinets won't have locks on them that I can't get open but my two year old can. Someday I will stop buying cute "couldn't pass up something this cute that is handmade" things on ETSY that has my husband wondering if we had our identity stolen and someone is spending our money at an alarming rate. Someday my preteens defiance, stubbornness and strong will will make sense. Someday I will have free time at night, my house will be quiet and clean and empty. I don't want that someday to ever be here. As much as life has been super crazy, I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. However, that being said, my Uncle Pat, who is amazing, told me once that having children is like being pecked to death by chickens. I couldn't agree more! Good thing I like chicken and eggs! Seriously...

Does hazard pay come with my 2 year old...

I have 13, visible to me, bruises. I could tell you all that I got into a wicked bar fight with Paris and Lindsay since we were spotted at Les Duex wearing the same outfit, which I clearly rocked out better then them being I don't have the cocaine problem. But sadly, that is not how I got them. I am going to blame my never stop for a second, aggressive, full of energy 2 year old. I am almost positive that she has her gooey, slobbery fingerprints allllll over them. Well except for that one I got when I ran into the counter at Office Depot, and yes you pimply faced college student, I heard you choke on your own saliva laughing at me. Good thing I thought it was pretty funny too or I would have kicked your ass, see above, I am not one to mess with! ;) Back to the destroyer or better known as Maggie. This is what we have experienced in the last week.

~~Finger nail polish on 30% of her body and on a 3 inch section of my bedroom carpet...finger nail polish remover DOES NOT remove finger nail polish from carpet...FYI!

~~A hole in the wall....no idea what happened. She says "I bonked my head" and "I bit my tongue"...all while I was in the shower, seriously maybe 8 minutes

~~Half a bottle of hand sanitizer was expertly rubbed in like lotion on all exposed skin...thankfully not from the neck up....and maybe we will get past this cold bug we have now that she is so "sanitized"

~~I may have a black eye as a result of a very eager 2 year old excitedly "giving" me a book for us to read. Clearly, I need to pay more attention to her demands.

~~Her new phrases are "Oh my Jesus", "GGGOOOOSSSSHHHH"(sounds just like I typed it), "God Damnit", "but Mia wants it" when she gets something that she knows she can't have.

Seriously, I am exhausted, feel defeated and think I may need hazard pay to continue to raise Maggie. Seriously...

Is this how I will be famous...

I am pretty sure I am going to be making headline news tomorrow. I am going to be the first person to have their head actually explode from sinus pressure. As much as I would like to be famous, have to have my hair and make up done every time I leave the house just in case the paparazzi are hiding in my...errr, grass?!, I don't want it to be because my head exploded. Because then I won't really be photograph ready, now will I? And it would be really messy. And I don't want to have to clean it up. Because I know my family won't. Seriously...

*EDIT* I can't believe I am about to say this. I think I would like to go to work when I am sick. It is easier then dealing with my sick 2 year old, healthy and chunky and eating all the time 10 week old, and sassy, up my hiney all the time 11 year old. Plus, I get paid. Seriously...

Temper Tantrums oh my.....

We are officially in the terrible twos. She was actually in the terrible twos starting about 6 months ago, maybe longer! But today, full blown laying on the ground, kicking, fist banging, crying just to cry, tantrum!! Yep, that is just how she rolls. I love her and her tantrums. I guess I will love going to work on Monday and Tuesdays even more now! As long as she saves all her goodness for the Grandmas that are graciously watching the girls while I go back to work, she can throw them all she wants for me! I can't afford to lose my wonderful sitters. How do they know to be good for others and be their "true" selves for us moms and dads!?Seriously...

What a looooong weekend...

I am not a party planner, at all! I procrastinate with the best of them and then freak out when it is crunch time. Thankfully I have the best mom in the world and she saved me this weekend. It was my sister's wedding shower. I will give you a lil background on what I am working with. My sister stated when she was a teenager that her goal in life was to be a snob. I personally think she is too personable and nice to be a snob but she has managed to be, oh, shall I say, high maintenance! BridezillaTanya loves all things name brand. Me, I shop at Target and Old Navy. I do love when she brings me things to wear though! Banana Republic is not an area where they grow banana's but a nice, albeit expensive, clothing store! So, I tried to give her the best shower as she always goes above and beyond for everyone. I hope I succeeded. It was fun and stressful but thankfully it is over. I grew grass for her, made cinnamon shakers, had her favorite candies, moved couches and the biggest thing I did was clean my house for her. Well actually only the first floor! I did it because I love her and even if we live completely different lifestyles, have different taste and don't always see eye to eye, she is my sister and I wouldn't trade her for anyone else! Ok, maybe Jennifer Aniston, but only for a day! Seriously...

So I am a Liar...

Yep, I guess you are all thinking I am a big fat liar. Well back off, I just had a baby. Oh wait, I was focusing on the big fat part of that statement! Clearly, I am a tad bit sensitive on that issue. I know, not great. Well since we live in the country, modern technology is not so easy. We have been without internet for almost 5 days now. I am at my moms house to check my email and pawn hyper soon to be two year old off on my brother. How am I surviving without the internet you may ask? Check out the picture from my last blog, you will see how! As Logical Libby said...I am too busy "nom noming" her cheeks!!! I will be back soon...Seriously...

This is why I have been gone, I know, beautiful....

I have been slightly pre-occupied by this lil cutie pie. She is my sugar bear, my sunshine, my everything. She is the child God knew I needed. She is content, calm, happy, easy...I could go on and on!! She loves her momma too, and I wouldn't change that for anything. Here are a few one-liners from our family convo's!!

Maggie on seeing me feed Mia for the first time.
~~"Mia eatin boobies?" , "yes Maggie, Mia gets milk from mom's boobies" About an hour later, EJ comes home and she runs to tell him "Mia eatin boobies!!!" Seriously, can she get any cuter!

EJ says and I quote "I sure wish someone would wake me up by putting boobs in my face" when I was trying to get Mia to eat after she fell asleep right after she started eating.

Maggie wanted to help me feed Mia, so she rests her hand on my boob and watches cartoons.

Maggie helping the boys put together our brand new playground in the backyard~~"God damn it"....hmmm wonder where she gets that from.

Makayla has a cell phone, against my better wishes. It has proven to be more of a pain in the ass then she was begging for it!

It seems that all of a sudden, since June 1st, EJ has miraculously started sleeping sooo soundly at night that he doesn't hear a damn thing. Ironic!

I will have to fill you in on all the other fun stuff that is happening around here next time. I promise to be back, maybe not everyday! I miss my stress release that blogging gives me. Seriously...

"blow me mom"...

Maggie had a bad diaper rash a couple months ago. You know the kind, raw and produces a hyperventilation type reaction from her. Well after I put medicine on it and she still was crying without breathing I blew on it to cool it down. It helped. Now, she says "blow" after begging for medicine when we change her diaper. Clearly she is a little weird. Friday while changing her, she said "blow me mom". Really, did my 21 month old just say blow me? I can't wait until she is being changed by the sitter/Grandpa/Grandma/anyone other then myself or her dad and have her say "blow me"!!! Seriously...