This is to my little toe:
Dear little toe on my left foot-
I am sorry that you are hurting today. I feel your pain and wish I could take it away. Seriously, I want this pain gone. Two days ago, I took you to the doctor and had them take off the piece of character that made you different. You always got more of my attention then any other toe because of that weird looking mole you sprouted a couple years ago. Well I have some confessions to make to you.
I kinda liked the mole, although the doctor didn't. I had thought, "hmm, who else has a parallelogram shaped mole on there little toe?" I like being different as I can tell you did too.
I always took you and little toe on my right foot for granted. I always wondered why God gave me the feet He did. I assumed God didn't want me wearing flip flops. That hasn't stopped me yet. I let you little left toe and you little right toe hang on for dear life onto the side of the flip flop. You guys are clutching the shoe for dear life and I am ignoring you. I know, I am selfish and will not give up my flip flops!!
I always have you toes painted in hopes to distract attention away from the uncuteness that you toes have. Yes, I admit it, all of you toes are not cute. Why do you all have to be the same length. It is unique, yes, but not attractive.
Well today I apologize for assuming that you don't have a purpose. I need you for balance and gripping and picking up things, even though all you toes have to be the shortest toes on record. Little toe on my left foot, forgive me for scarring you for life and taking away your uniqueness. I hope you heal soon and we can continue our love/hate relationship. I will give you a break from hanging on for dear life, as you deserve it for what you have been through. I will not wear flip flops until you are strong enough to resume your position!!
Love, Me
Seriously....
For some reason, I needed a little shot of good old McCowan humor today and decided to read archived entries. BOY HOWDY - this is quite a gem! I must tell you, dear, you are one weird little girl! That is a good thing, in my book at least...welcome to the club! BTW, although I don't have any moles on my toes, mine too, are small in stature and roughly the same length. Indeed, viewed from the back, all one can see is proudly plump circular nubs of flesh.. This is a blessing in diguise because without those nubs, I'd be unable to perform the famous "AMY TOE SONG & DANCE ROUTINE in which I draw faces on the nubs, with varied expressions and hair styles, extend lines down the soles, with arms and legs, and then lie back, lift my leg so that my soles are facing the audience, turn on the radio and begin to wiggle my toes to a well choreographed dance set. I think the debut of this magnificent ability occured on a road trip with my Mother and Megan returning to Arizone after a visit to Bloomington. Oh, and my dear sister, has, since the time we were children, told me that I have Barney rubble Feet. It's actually a very accurate description - flat, fat, and wide...Yabba dabba do!
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