Like mother, like daughter...not!!!

My brilliant just turned 10 year old yesterday proved to me today that getting a year older does not make your common sense older. We had a cheerleading banquet today to celebrate and acknowledge the teams fantastic year. When we pull into the parking lot for the banquet and I am out getting the stroller ready Makayla announces that she can't find her flip flop. I should let you know that my car is a MESS. I could kinda understand how one could lose a flip flop in the car when it looks like it does. The backseat at least, as I don't sit back there so I don't keep track of what it looks like! Anywho, this is how our conversation goes.
Me: Really, you can't find your flip flop, um did you have both on when we left the house?
Makayla: Yes (I search the entire car, even under my seat thinking maybe it slid up over the center and under my seat! I searched the entire car! It is not in there)
Me: Really, you had both on when you got in the car.
Makayla: Yes, maybe it fell out
Me: Really, when do you propose this flip flop made a run for it. Do you think it opened the car door while I was driving and jumped.(yes, sarcasm keeps me from losing it!)
Makayla: Don't be mad at me
Me: Seriously, did both of your feet have a shoe attached to them when you entered and shut the car door? I think you would know if one foot was wearing something and one was missing something. Please tell me that you were not wearing any shoes when you got in the car. Please just tell me that.
Makayla: Will you go home and get me another pair of shoes.
Me: Absolutely not!!! That is a half hour drive one way, if I go home, we stay home. So, one last time, did you have both on when you got in the car.
Makayla: I don't know.
Me: Who doesn't know if they are wearing two shoes or one!! Seriously Makayla!!
Long story short, she cried, I forced her to go in with one shoe, she had to go up and accept an award, she wore my flip flops, she made lots of noise being they were too big, she had more attention drawn to her for wearing big shoes then none at all, she survived, I can't stop asking her who doesn't know when they are missing a shoe. The shoe was sitting on the garage floor right next to her door. It is going to be a long 10th year!!! Seriously...

Has hell frozen over???

I can't believe I am about to say this. Are you sitting down? I am excited about this summer because.....I can't wait to take the girls to the pool!!! Seriously! Yes, you heard me right. I, one who "chunky dunks not skinny dips" is getting my double wide ass in a suit to take my girls to pool this summer. I am at a point where I am "working" on getting in better shape, taking better care of myself, and I am tired of not doing things because I am ashamed of my body. I have the body I have because of choices I made and, well, genetics. Nothing I can do about the shape but I am trying like crazy to make that shape healthier(and smaller). I did just have a baby only 9 months ago. I deserve some time to get that weight off. And it isn't like I started the pregnancy as a size 2. I am actually in my pre-pregnancy clothes. My weight is just proportioned a little differently now. This is my one summer I get with both my girls without working so I am living it up BIG time!!! Yeah me!!

P.S. there was no consumption of alcohol before posting this.....Seriously....

This is one hellava cute ass swimsuit....but not on me!!! Does anyone but her actually look like this?!?!?!

Dog anyone...

Please will someone take our beloved Murphy Lee. I am not saying that I don't want him, I would like him to be dognapped so I don't have to get rid of Makayla's dog. We got rid of the her guinea pigs, I would not be able to sleep if I took another animal away from her. So I am asking you all to please come dognap Murphy and give him a good home. Here are the current reasons why:

1. I cannot take the dog hair any longer. I am vacuuming every day and it is just not helping. His hair sticks to all Maggies toys, which go straight in her mouth. I kid you not, she has hair in her diaper!! I can't imagine the hair ball she must have in her tiny(hehe) tummy!!

2. Murphy DOES NOT like Maggie, not one bit. She wants so badly to crawl on him, pet him, talk to him. He wants nothing to do with her and leaves the room after "talking" to her to tell her to leave him the hell alone. I swear that is what he would say. He is getting a little growlier with his "talking" to her. We no longer leave them in the same room together without one of us being on the floor with her.

3. He is eating the neighbors chicken's and turkey's. Our wonderful neighbor informed us tonight that our Murphy Lee has "allegedly" eaten 3 chickens and at least 1 turkey. EJ and I disagree with that. I let Murphy out during the day and watch him, which he does not like one bit either. I don't want him to bother the neighbor. EJ does let him go over to see our neighbors dog but hasn't been home lately to do so. So I disagree with our friendly neighbor and think Murphy is wrongfully accused. We offered to pay for new chicken's and turkey's. Neighbor offered to train Murphy. I say take him!!!!

4. He doesn't like his new house. I think he doesn't like it because Maggie came with.

So if anyone would like a lovable(if you are not Maggie), lazy until people come over, black lab...he is outside roughly around 9am every morning!!!! I will pretend to not see you but I will make sure you get all of his goodies he comes with in your car before you leave! Seriously...

This is an old picture but you can clearly see how he feels.

sorry for the picture overload!!

I figured this was the easiest way to post a large quantity of pictures for everyone to see. My email is horrible for sending pictures. These were taken over the last couple of days. She has quite the personality!!! I just love her to pieces!!! Makayla too, you will get tons of pictures of her this summer when she is home all day with us.

This is her excited to get a popsicle face!!




Oh Maggie, you are so happy when you are eating!


Soooo big!

Did you just say that there was no more food!?

giving me air kisses!!!


banana's make a good styling product for your hair!!


Too damn cute....Seriously...

Pretending to have a life....not working

I really wasn't going to post about this topic. I was going to pretend to have a life. I can't hold back any longer. I highly dislike Kate Gosselin. From Jon and Kate plus 8. I watched the season premiere last night and was disgusted by her and her fake nails, her way different wardrobe, her fake tan, and her pretending to be interested in the kids. How many times did she say she was in it for the kids...too many times to keep track of. It sounded like she was trying to convince herself. I didn't buy it. She said over and over at point that she was exhausted. Yeah I bet you are when you are flying all over God's green earth to sign books that you "didn't care if even one person bought the book, you did it for your kids". Why don't you go home, turn off the camera's, reconnect with your husband and kids, focus on your family and get over yourself!!! I am done watching any more of your show. I feel sorry for Jon and the kids. I am completely against cheating and firmly believe if you are unhappy get out, but Jon deserves more. Clearly!! That is all I have to say about that...for now!!! Seriously...

Food is not a reward...

Seriously...I just got my ass kicked by Wii Active and I successfully burned all 180 calories of my Luna breakfast bar(they are delicious by the way!) plus 7 extra calories that decided to burn off. Yeah me, right. Well after I was done, my tummy was grumbling something fierce. So what did I think to myself. You totally deserve to eat something!!! Why did I just sweat my butt off to go and put calories right back in. I know that I need to eat again sometime today. But why can't I enjoy the fact that I just worked off my breakfast. Why must I constantly think of food as a reward, therapy, entertainment, medicine, etc. Why can't it just be nourishment? Oh well, I am glad to say that I resisted the temptation of eating and am going to do a little retail therapy at Target. I just have to remember...food is not therapy!!! Seriously...

So sad...

I am having a very hard time accepting that in 3 short months I am going to have to reenter the workforce. I have enjoyed every second of my extended maternity leave and am soooo grateful that I was able to stay home for Maggies first year. Just like when you go on vacation and spend the last three days sad that you have to go back. That is what I am doing! :( I need to stop! I even thought about donating my eggs to infertile couples just to stay home a little longer. Then I thought how awkward that would be if I saw someone that looked just like me, would I always wonder how many "kids" I had out there. Too weird. I am open, as I have been for years, to being a surrogate. It would have to be no genetic connection to me for me to do it but I love being pregnant. Crazy thoughts when you are desperate!!

I love working, I don't think I am meant to be a stay at home mom. I am scared to death to be who I want to be to everyone as well as I should. I can't imagine getting off work, picking up Maggie at daycare(which is a whole other ballgame of stress), coming home to get Makayla hoping she has done all her homework, take her to practice, come home make dinner, get Maggie ready for bed, go pick Makayla up from cheer, come home, put everyone to bed and straighten up the house. WTF. How am I going to be able to do this. That is what scares me. Yes it is only going to be like this when my husband is in the fields. But that is roughly 5-6 months a year!!! I need to not worry about it now and enjoy the last three months of my baby girls growing up!!! Seriously....

*(tears are flowing right now!)*

Wii

I love the new EA Active Personal Trainer for Wii!! I highly recommend it to anyone who wants to work out and not go to the gym. I am currently doing the 30 day challenge and it is TOUGH. Really!!! Even my 21 year old brother who is in good shape said it kicked his ass!!! I will let you all know how the results are coming. It tells you how many calories you are burning as you work out so I am totally motivated while working out!! It is fun as well. You can dance, inline skate, tennis, volleyball, baseball, basketball and then lots of different workout routines. LOVE IT!! Clearly I should get paid to promote this!! Seriously...

Ditched...

My husband left me for a bitch named dirt!!! Seriously, he gets up and leaves before I get up and comes home as I am heading for bed. We have been together for 6 years and it isn't any easier. Especially now with Magdelicious. He went 44 hours without seeing her!! She was so excited to see him when we went and visited him tonight. I was more than happy to leave her with him for awhile. No such luck, I got the amazing privilege of listening to her scream for 10 minutes while we drove home. Yeah me!! It is going to be a long planting!!! Damn farmers! Too bad he is so damn handsome and wonderful when he is here. I guess I will continue to put up with it. Seriously...

Hi my name is...

It has been a while. Clearly, I know. I have been a bad blogger. Really! We have had an incredibly busy last week. We had three separate out of town relatives to visit with, one actually staying with us. One funeral, Mary will be greatly missed :( And end of school activities. Not to mention my brother graduated HCC!! Congrats to him! I have been so exhausted to say the least. I am finally able to see the laundry room floor again!! I knew it was there somewhere! I am back with lots to say. I will try to keep them short and to the point. I will limit the rambling!! Ok I will try!! Seriously...

Help me...

Help Me. Walked too far. No energy. To get back. I am dumb. Seriously...

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day to all the wonderful mommies out there. This was the best mothers day yet. This is how it went down

Heard Magdelicious talking a little before 8 this a.m. I got up and did my need to function things and the little turkey bird fell back asleep. It would have been wonderful if I would have gone back to sleep. She got up at 9, woke Missy Sue up(she wasn't happy), got them fed and then I went to a place I rarely venture into. The Kitchen! This is what I made today, all by myself.
Apple pizza, cheese dip, deviled eggs, vegetable salad(which I forgot about and didn't eat), chex mix, and I cut up raw veggies!!! Yeah me! So that took all of my morning and early afternoon. All the while Maggie wanted to be held, be with me and everything else that made it impossible for me to get everything ready. Makayla did EXCELLENT helping me. Then my mom and step dad came over and we all hung out until EJ got home. I am still, even after 6 years, not used to this farming schedule. We had BLT's and good company. The best thing is that after the shower this morning I got back in my pj's and didn't get out of them all day. Oh and Maggie took her "first steps" today with both Grandma's here to see it!!! I wanted to cry, I don't want her to grow up so fast!!! So here is to the best mother's day ever!!!! Happy mother's day to all the most wonderful mother's I know!! Seriously...

To all you nose pickers

This is to you guy driving a mini van picking your nose at the stop light yesterday....One of my pet peeves is people thinking their vehicle windows are magic. In that they can see out but assume no one can see in. WE SEE YOU! Stop picking your nose thinking we cannot. You especially, guy in your twenties driving a mini van digging for gold. Not only did you have your windows down, picking your nose like there was no tomorrow, but you then went and made me throw up a little in my mouth....YOU ATE IT. Really, are you 3 again and think it is ok. Who does that. You didn't just eat it, you dug under your nails to get every disgusting morsel you could. Oh god, I just threw up a little again. You disgust me. If I wasn't trying to hold my breakfast down, I would have screamed I SEE YOU you disgusting pig. Don't get me wrong, everyone has that occasional little booger that won't come out. I have gone in after it, but with a tissue there to get rid of it. I almost wished I would have had a camera to video you and put it on YouTube just in the hopes that you would see it and be so embarrassed that you would call me and personally apologize and promise to never, ever again pick in public. Seriously...

Dad

I had a dream last night about my dad. All is right with the world again!!!! They are few and far between and when they happen it makes everything ok again!! Loves ya dad!!!

Really!?!?!?!?!?

So while driving through Normal yesterday I saw a truck with a sticker in his back window that read.....
"My other toy has tits"
Really, are you serious. First, what a jackass. Second, I think he should probably take it down because I am pretty sure once he put it up for the world to see he lost his "toy". At least I hope the "toy" has more respect for herself then that.
Or the only other thing is that his "toy" is actually himself which would be doing to world a favor.....don't reproduce!!! Seriously....