I may suck at being a mom but she clearly doesn't...

Monkey see monkey do. At least her babies don't get hungry in public. Her version of a bopi is a neck pillow for the car. Damn smart, that girl! Seriously...

Errr, maybe bull riding in her future?...

I have never seen my sweet angel baby act like this before. It reminds me of a cat on catnip for some reason. Like if she could walk and run she would have a bucket on her head and be ramming said head and bucket into walls and peoples rear ends. Not what you visualized when you saw it. Hmm. Don't know what to tell you there. Except that maybe that is what happened when I tried a little cat nip back in the day. I kid. Maybe it reminds you of my wonderful husband if you have seen him after a few too many captain and dr. pepper's? Yes, that must be it! Good thing he doesn't read my blog!! But seriously...we are saying she gets this from his side of the family! ;) Our little secret! At my beautiful tubby baby girls expense...enjoy and you are welcome...Seriously...

I suck at being a mom sometimes...

Like when I get a new phone and download Angry Birds to that said phone. I sat in "the chair" in our little girls room tonight for 45 mins. Not because I was waiting for the girls to fall asleep. Nope, I was busy playing the damn angry birds game. It. Has. Consumed. My. Being. Well, at least when I am not really needing to be productive. I could have done dishes, laundry, organizing the cabinets in our kitchen that have 326 things fall out when you open them. But I did not. Le sigh, this too shall pass. Likely soon as I am getting frustrated with how hard the levels continue to be. At least I fed the kids and got them ready for bed. That is how I roll these days!! Seriously...

Not ready yet...

Here we are, Mia is 7 months old and I should probably get a grip and let her grow up. Here is what I have done/not done to prevent her from growing up. We are about 85% sure Mia is our last little miracle and I have had an exceptionally hard time swallowing that little pill. Yes, it is my decision(more so then the baby daddy!) and I wish I had the patience/time/money/sanity to have 21 babies. Here is how poor Mia Belle has lived the last 7 months...

~still in the bassinet portion of the pack n play...in our room. At the foot of the bed. at night only, she does nap in her crib....baby steps!

~just started baby food. she skipped all 1st foods due to mom prolonging it.

~does NOT like to be put down for very long. may be due to me holding her, thinking, she is the last baby and I want to enjoy every second of it!

~still nursing, even though I have thought my milk supply is too low for her. if you have seen her, she is doing just fine! ;)

~she did not like being on her belly so she may start crawling when I enroll her in kindergarten...since crawling and I am pretty sure walking require her to spend time out of moms arms!

~she still takes grocery cart rides in her car seat, even though she can sit up fine in the cart. she seems like a big girl sitting there, so therefore she will continue to ride in the car seat in the basket!

Here she is only the second time sleeping on her tummy...again, not ready. me, not her

As you can see, I may need help; professional help. This stage does not last long enough. I would gladly take the needy infant stage for 5 years as opposed to the needy teen years any day!! I understand that babies must grow up but gosh darn it, I don't have to like it!! Seriously...

Mom and her Mia Belle at the beach. Can you see why now...seriously...

xmas 2010

With Love Chartreuse Christmas Card

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Men are mentally disabled...

Ok, this is a husband bashing post. If you do not care to hear the rest of this, please click the x!! I am writing this post with the utmost respect and love for the man I married. He, like myself, is far from perfect. I get that. However, this is America, Land of the Free, and I can say whatever the hell I want to. So here the story goes...


Our beautiful 2 year old is refusing naps. Completely. With every ounce of her being. This is not ok for her momma. Momma needs her to nap. Not because I want the alone time. She NEEDS the nap. I call my husband, who is farming, to tell him that a certain 2 year old is coming to ride with him. I tried for 2 and a half hours to get her to nap. I needed a break as did she. He says I will be home in an hour. Perfect, our 11 year old has a school dance tonight and I am taking three girls. He can take them. Along with said 2 year old. He gets home and informs me that he is taking the trailblazer so no room for 2 year old. I cry. I say ,take the van. He says he is going to see if the tire place is open so he can get the tires rotated on trailblazer. I cry harder. Seriously, what planet is he on that he does not understand simple communication. I CLEARLY expressed that I needed a break. He then calls me and tells me that he is going to stop by his sisters house to say hi since we were invited to go carve pumpkins tonight. I say LIKE HELL YOU ARE!!! I think he finally got the hint. Although, I say that and I am sure he will say something equally stupid before I go to bed. Calgon, take me away! Seriously...


The only thing that keeps me from going insane is this! Enjoy and you're welcome!

Someday...

I will get sleep, have a clean house, have friends that aren't my daughters friends' parents. Someday I will be able to go to the post office without burning 200 calories trying to get the double stroller out of the van, loaded, kids buckled and then get inside to realize I forgot my package to be mailed...at home. Someday, my cabinets won't have locks on them that I can't get open but my two year old can. Someday I will stop buying cute "couldn't pass up something this cute that is handmade" things on ETSY that has my husband wondering if we had our identity stolen and someone is spending our money at an alarming rate. Someday my preteens defiance, stubbornness and strong will will make sense. Someday I will have free time at night, my house will be quiet and clean and empty. I don't want that someday to ever be here. As much as life has been super crazy, I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. However, that being said, my Uncle Pat, who is amazing, told me once that having children is like being pecked to death by chickens. I couldn't agree more! Good thing I like chicken and eggs! Seriously...

Does hazard pay come with my 2 year old...

I have 13, visible to me, bruises. I could tell you all that I got into a wicked bar fight with Paris and Lindsay since we were spotted at Les Duex wearing the same outfit, which I clearly rocked out better then them being I don't have the cocaine problem. But sadly, that is not how I got them. I am going to blame my never stop for a second, aggressive, full of energy 2 year old. I am almost positive that she has her gooey, slobbery fingerprints allllll over them. Well except for that one I got when I ran into the counter at Office Depot, and yes you pimply faced college student, I heard you choke on your own saliva laughing at me. Good thing I thought it was pretty funny too or I would have kicked your ass, see above, I am not one to mess with! ;) Back to the destroyer or better known as Maggie. This is what we have experienced in the last week.

~~Finger nail polish on 30% of her body and on a 3 inch section of my bedroom carpet...finger nail polish remover DOES NOT remove finger nail polish from carpet...FYI!

~~A hole in the wall....no idea what happened. She says "I bonked my head" and "I bit my tongue"...all while I was in the shower, seriously maybe 8 minutes

~~Half a bottle of hand sanitizer was expertly rubbed in like lotion on all exposed skin...thankfully not from the neck up....and maybe we will get past this cold bug we have now that she is so "sanitized"

~~I may have a black eye as a result of a very eager 2 year old excitedly "giving" me a book for us to read. Clearly, I need to pay more attention to her demands.

~~Her new phrases are "Oh my Jesus", "GGGOOOOSSSSHHHH"(sounds just like I typed it), "God Damnit", "but Mia wants it" when she gets something that she knows she can't have.

Seriously, I am exhausted, feel defeated and think I may need hazard pay to continue to raise Maggie. Seriously...

Is this how I will be famous...

I am pretty sure I am going to be making headline news tomorrow. I am going to be the first person to have their head actually explode from sinus pressure. As much as I would like to be famous, have to have my hair and make up done every time I leave the house just in case the paparazzi are hiding in my...errr, grass?!, I don't want it to be because my head exploded. Because then I won't really be photograph ready, now will I? And it would be really messy. And I don't want to have to clean it up. Because I know my family won't. Seriously...

*EDIT* I can't believe I am about to say this. I think I would like to go to work when I am sick. It is easier then dealing with my sick 2 year old, healthy and chunky and eating all the time 10 week old, and sassy, up my hiney all the time 11 year old. Plus, I get paid. Seriously...

Temper Tantrums oh my.....

We are officially in the terrible twos. She was actually in the terrible twos starting about 6 months ago, maybe longer! But today, full blown laying on the ground, kicking, fist banging, crying just to cry, tantrum!! Yep, that is just how she rolls. I love her and her tantrums. I guess I will love going to work on Monday and Tuesdays even more now! As long as she saves all her goodness for the Grandmas that are graciously watching the girls while I go back to work, she can throw them all she wants for me! I can't afford to lose my wonderful sitters. How do they know to be good for others and be their "true" selves for us moms and dads!?Seriously...