Friday, May 5, 2017
I had my tonsils out Feb 23rd. So this year has really sucked so far. I keep hoping and keep being told I will be a new woman after I am healed. It can't happen fast enough. I will say getting my tonsils out was the best thing I did. Recovery was horrible, but well worth it!
Physically, I don't know what I am. Ive lost weight but no one can tell. My clothes feel better so that is all the matters. I have more energy, even being down after surgery. Weight will always be a struggle I guess. I just want to be happy. If size 12 is happy, I'll proudly be a size 12!! But enough about that.
Here is my big "coming back to blog" issue. Toxic people. I am surrounded by toxic people. I CANNOT get myself healthy if I am not surrounded by people who love me and support me. Love and support does not mean what can I do for them to make their lives easier. It does not mean being my friend and then talking about me behind my back. Love and support is being there when I don't want anyone to be there. Knowing I'm not ok and still doing nothing about it.
Grief, I will talk a lot about grief too. Because I am not over my dad's death as well or as much as I thought I was.
So just a preview of whats to come. I still spend too much, dress my daughters SO much better than myself, love farm life and love my husband more than words can say. Funniness will definitely be a part of this as well. Hopefully most of it!
Thursday, January 27, 2011
~~I feel like I wipe asses allll day. Mia has been pooping like 4-5 times a day and Maggie decided that potty training is more fun when she does great for a week then completely stops. We are looking into pre-school boarding schools. On the west coast. Of China.
~~I have never felt so disconnected to my husband. I don't even want to have wild crazy circus monkey sex anymore. I am that afraid of getting pregnant. Even with the Mirena IUD. I have three children and only one was "tried" for.
~~I wish I lived in a one bedroom apartment. Then maybe I could keep that space clean. Three bathrooms, three bedrooms, three "living areas" and a kitchen...hell to keep picked up(we won't even mention the word clean). No one will help. That doesn't help.
~~I am the rare female on the planet that refuses to drink diet soda. Yes, I could lose weight if I drank diet soda, however, I don't like it so why drink it. I drink more water then I ever have so I justify it that way. I am about to go all postal on the next waiter/waitress who brings me a refill and it is diet. I GET IT. I AM CHUBBY. DON'T ASSUME THAT MEANS I AM ON A DIET. Got it. Next time, the drink is going to be on your diet...and it won't enter through your mouth.
~~I cannot wait for my sister to have a baby. She is trying and damnit if it isn't happening fast enough. Ok, so maybe they just started. I WANT TO BE AN AUNT!!! I want to buy ridiculously ridiculous things for a little niece, nephew or sextuplets!! HAHA, just kidding, kinda. My sister in law has a son but he doesn't like anyone but his mom and won't give me a chance to be the fun aunt. He doesn't know what he is missing out on.
~~I LOVE breastfeeding my baby. Not in that way you sickos. I love that it is easy. Sad, I know. I should be saying it is the best for my baby, it is bonding with her, blah blah blah. It affords me a can of soda and I can; barely wake up, grab her, lay back in bed, flop a boob out, fall back asleep and wake up when my husband asks me if I am going to put that away or is it an invitation. That being said...I can't wait until I have my boobs and life back to myself. We went skiing this weekend sans babies. I was the debbie downer who kept having to go back to the resort/room to pump. I want to go out to lunch with the girls and not have to say no because I have to pump. I am sure in a few months I will be saying how much I miss boobie feeding Mia. Until then, I will feel slightly selfish. mkay.
~~That is all for now. This is what is consuming my world these days...seriously...
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Monday, January 17, 2011
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
I have never seen my sweet angel baby act like this before. It reminds me of a cat on catnip for some reason. Like if she could walk and run she would have a bucket on her head and be ramming said head and bucket into walls and peoples rear ends. Not what you visualized when you saw it. Hmm. Don't know what to tell you there. Except that maybe that is what happened when I tried a little cat nip back in the day. I kid. Maybe it reminds you of my wonderful husband if you have seen him after a few too many captain and dr. pepper's? Yes, that must be it! Good thing he doesn't read my blog!! But seriously...we are saying she gets this from his side of the family! ;) Our little secret! At my beautiful tubby baby girls expense...enjoy and you are welcome...Seriously...
Monday, January 10, 2011
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Here she is only the second time sleeping on her tummy...again, not ready. me, not her
As you can see, I may need help; professional help. This stage does not last long enough. I would gladly take the needy infant stage for 5 years as opposed to the needy teen years any day!! I understand that babies must grow up but gosh darn it, I don't have to like it!! Seriously...
Mom and her Mia Belle at the beach. Can you see why now...seriously...