I have almost everything I could want....yet I am not content

This is a "feel sorry for myself" kind of blog. I know what you are thinking. Boo hoo. Get over it. Well, I have tried. I will let you all know, because I am sure you are waiting with baited breath.

~I am still struggling with being pregnant again, so soon. I know that it is a huge blessing. I totally get that. I understand that there are so many people out there who want nothing more then a baby. I am super blessed to be able to have babies and I love them with all my spirit, heart, and being. It is just taking a little longer then I thought to have the shock wear off. I secretly fear that I will not love this little one as much as the others. Sweet Jesus I hope I am SO wrong. Oh and I am getting my usual "pregnancy headaches" seriously every day now. I don't remember getting them in the second trimester so I thought I had escaped them this time. I was wrong and now I have a cranky 10 year old and a crankier 16 month old. That makes for a CRANKIEST mom.

~I love my job. I am so thankful that I even HAVE a job. But at the same time, I don't like my job. I am the only one who does what I do. That makes it very hard to take a day off. It puts a lot of pressure and frustration on me to make sure I am there every day, no matter what. That includes making Maggie go to daycare after giving her advil to make sure she doesn't seem warm even though she has a slight fever. Then I cross my fingers that she isn't cranky at the sitters so the sitter doesn't check her temp! I am making myself sick with this season of sickness because I cannot miss a day of work. That makes you not like your job so much. That and I asked for a day off next month and I was told begrudgingly that they would try to "make it work". I just told them I was pregnant and I feel like I am being treated a little different. Like you are taking time off when you have this baby, don't you think that is all the time off you need. In other words, don't even think of being gone a day until that lil one pops out!

~My husband had an unusual harvest season as I am sure you remember me bitching about. Well the crops are out yet I haven't seen him. That better change or my marital status will!!!

~I am having a hard time getting into the Christmas spirit. Partly because of this damn weather. I would like to fall asleep and wake up in the spring. Maybe I was meant to be a bear. I hope that is what I am in my next life.

So I hope I didn't send anyone into a deep depression while reading this. It is no fun being there, but I hope you all tell me to "snap out of it twinkle toes...it could be a lot worse"!!! Thanks for listening to me do what I do best....bitch!!! Seriously...