What a looooong weekend...

I am not a party planner, at all! I procrastinate with the best of them and then freak out when it is crunch time. Thankfully I have the best mom in the world and she saved me this weekend. It was my sister's wedding shower. I will give you a lil background on what I am working with. My sister stated when she was a teenager that her goal in life was to be a snob. I personally think she is too personable and nice to be a snob but she has managed to be, oh, shall I say, high maintenance! BridezillaTanya loves all things name brand. Me, I shop at Target and Old Navy. I do love when she brings me things to wear though! Banana Republic is not an area where they grow banana's but a nice, albeit expensive, clothing store! So, I tried to give her the best shower as she always goes above and beyond for everyone. I hope I succeeded. It was fun and stressful but thankfully it is over. I grew grass for her, made cinnamon shakers, had her favorite candies, moved couches and the biggest thing I did was clean my house for her. Well actually only the first floor! I did it because I love her and even if we live completely different lifestyles, have different taste and don't always see eye to eye, she is my sister and I wouldn't trade her for anyone else! Ok, maybe Jennifer Aniston, but only for a day! Seriously...

So I am a Liar...

Yep, I guess you are all thinking I am a big fat liar. Well back off, I just had a baby. Oh wait, I was focusing on the big fat part of that statement! Clearly, I am a tad bit sensitive on that issue. I know, not great. Well since we live in the country, modern technology is not so easy. We have been without internet for almost 5 days now. I am at my moms house to check my email and pawn hyper soon to be two year old off on my brother. How am I surviving without the internet you may ask? Check out the picture from my last blog, you will see how! As Logical Libby said...I am too busy "nom noming" her cheeks!!! I will be back soon...Seriously...

This is why I have been gone, I know, beautiful....

I have been slightly pre-occupied by this lil cutie pie. She is my sugar bear, my sunshine, my everything. She is the child God knew I needed. She is content, calm, happy, easy...I could go on and on!! She loves her momma too, and I wouldn't change that for anything. Here are a few one-liners from our family convo's!!

Maggie on seeing me feed Mia for the first time.
~~"Mia eatin boobies?" , "yes Maggie, Mia gets milk from mom's boobies" About an hour later, EJ comes home and she runs to tell him "Mia eatin boobies!!!" Seriously, can she get any cuter!

EJ says and I quote "I sure wish someone would wake me up by putting boobs in my face" when I was trying to get Mia to eat after she fell asleep right after she started eating.

Maggie wanted to help me feed Mia, so she rests her hand on my boob and watches cartoons.

Maggie helping the boys put together our brand new playground in the backyard~~"God damn it"....hmmm wonder where she gets that from.

Makayla has a cell phone, against my better wishes. It has proven to be more of a pain in the ass then she was begging for it!

It seems that all of a sudden, since June 1st, EJ has miraculously started sleeping sooo soundly at night that he doesn't hear a damn thing. Ironic!

I will have to fill you in on all the other fun stuff that is happening around here next time. I promise to be back, maybe not everyday! I miss my stress release that blogging gives me. Seriously...

"blow me mom"...

Maggie had a bad diaper rash a couple months ago. You know the kind, raw and produces a hyperventilation type reaction from her. Well after I put medicine on it and she still was crying without breathing I blew on it to cool it down. It helped. Now, she says "blow" after begging for medicine when we change her diaper. Clearly she is a little weird. Friday while changing her, she said "blow me mom". Really, did my 21 month old just say blow me? I can't wait until she is being changed by the sitter/Grandpa/Grandma/anyone other then myself or her dad and have her say "blow me"!!! Seriously...

A shopping cart kicked my ass today....

Actually, 2 shopping carts kicked my ass. I have been in dire need to go grocery shopping. I despise grocery shopping with my youngest daughter. So, logically, I have put it off until there was absolutely nothing for her to eat for breakfast this a.m.. She had some Goldfish crackers and a juice. Really, I just admitted it. She got up really early this morning but it was only 10 a.m. so I thought she could handle the trip. We tried yesterday but didn't even make it out of the car. I knew better. Today, we made it into the store. That is when she spotted "Sandi the horse" that she has NEVER even been on before. All she did was scream "I ride the horse, I ride the horse" and kick me as I am trying to hold onto her. I told her no and tried putting her in the cart. And tried again, and again, and again. It literally took me probably 30 attempts at putting her into the damn cart before I was able to get her damn feet into the squares and get her legs to bend at the same time(seriously, I am 9 months pregnant and not one person stopped to see if I could use some help...). Clearly, the shopping carts were invented by a man with no kids. After all that, the f*ing seat belt didn't latch, and Maggie needs to be strapped in! So, I take a deep breathe, try to find a cart that the seat belt latches and grab her out of the cart. BIG MISTAKE. This cart's belt did indeed buckle, however, the little plastic seat that kids bottoms sit on, well that wouldn't stay down. So I make a few attempts at getting her into the cart and the plastic part keeps flipping up, covering the feet holes. I feel like a complete failure. I have tears streaming down my face and can't breathe. Maggie is screaming the whole time. I grab her and walk out. We didn't even make it past the carts. I got to the van and literally sobbed and cried like I haven't cried in a loooong time. I threw in the towel and decided we could survive with another meal of goldfish and juice. Who needs milk, eggs, bread, breakfast food, lunch food, dinner food...etc. We still have leftover Easter candy. I think there may even be an old Smart One's meal we could share. A little freezor burn never hurt anyone, did it? Seriously...

Has it been that long really?...

Sooooo, how is everyone? It has been awhile, no? Well I am now 36 weeks pregnant! Having some contractions, the Doctor says she will take me anytime this baby wants to come! Scary. This pregnancy has gone by sooo fast. I can't believe how fast it goes when you want it to go slow. I don't think I am quite ready for a lil precious newborn who doesn't like sleeping at night. Since Maggie isn't even 2 yet, my days will be filled with handling her and not a lot of time for "sleeping when the baby sleeps"! Did I mention before in my posts that Maggie can be a handful. That is an understatement by the way. Makayla is wonderful with helping, however she is needy in her own ways. She wants everything to be equal. That is driving me more crazy then Maggie climbing onto the bar at the sitters and handing out beer glassed to the other kids. This would be a good time to mention they were sleeping and she just threw them into the pack-n-plays! I love her spunk. Makayla has a heart of gold but she is sooooo sensitive. How did I end up with such different personalities in my kids. Can't wait to see how this lil peanut turns out! Hopefully a good mix. I am hoping to get back on the blogging bandwagon. You know, just in time to have a baby. Wish me luck, Lord knows I need it! Seriously...

A letter to my forgotten best friend...

Dear Advil~

I cannot explain to you how I have missed you so much. Only 72 more days to go and we will be reunited and it will feel SO good! I plan on taking you to the hospital with me and taking you as soon as baby Kelley enters this world. If I only have you by my side, I will be a happy girl. Since my husband was left dumbfounded by the whole birthing process last time, you actually may be more support then he was! You will hold my hand and tell me it will be ok, won't you. You will tell me that you can't imagine the kind of pain I must be in and ask me if I am some kind of superhero...even after I have the epidural. You will tell me that I can get through the labor and delivery because you will be there waiting for me after it is over. While everyone is looking at the beautiful baby, I will be begging asking for a fountain Dr. Pepper so I can take FOUR of my bestest friends in the whole wide world! Oh, Advil, I have called out for you so many times and respected your ability to stay away when I needed you so much. Like last night, you were searched for and no where to be found...thank goodness or I would have taken you! My baby thanks for you being "lost". Of all the things that pregnancy has restricted me from, you are by far the hardest to handle. Don't you worry, little green liquid filled wonderfulness. You will be joining me daily come June. I can't wait to have our relationship back. I will make a promise to you...that there are no more 9 month periods where we are forced to stay apart. I know it is just as hard on you(the company's stock plummeted when I stopped taking you...for that I will make it up to you.). Just know I think about you several times a day and you will never be replaced permanently. Tylenol doesn't do shit for me. You are truly a girls best friend!! Seriously...

Another feel sorry for me post...

This week has been ridiculous. This is a post about my 10 year old going on 18 year old baby girl. This past Friday, she had "the talk" at school. You know the one. Where they take all the boys out to play kickball and the girls have to watch a movie about a mom and daughter talking about getting periods. The one I saw had a mom making pancakes in the shape of a woman's reproductive organs. I don't think I ate pancakes for years after that. Makayla's traumatizing moment was when they demonstrated how to insert a tampon on a mannequin. She said that she is NOT going to get her period and she is NOT going to put "that thing" "there". Amen sista. If only we could control that!

She also has junior high school cheerleading tryouts this week. Insert me anxiously sighing and heart racing! I am not ready for this. I don't think she is ready either. Or maybe it is just me and my insecurities that make it seem she is not ready. Ok, it is completely me! I will have a newborn, a toddler and a junior high school student in only a couple months! Breathe, breathe, breathe.

She still offers some moments that just make us laugh. You know when she isn't being sassy and talking back. When I picked her up last night, she was talking to a girl. I asked if she just met her that day. Here is our convo...
Her: Mom, that is Madison M
Me: Who is that
Her: From my class at school
Me: (I am not racist. We go to a very small school and there is only one class per grade. I simply thought I knew all the kids in her class.) The black girl?
Her: (Looking at me like she is disgusted with what I just said) You mean chocolate (said with an attitude)

I love that she thinks of skin color as a flavor. Not sure if that is "right" but for right now, I think it is perfect!

As soon as my precious baby is here, I am going to start drinking wine....heavily. Seriously...

I. Was. Wrong.

Did you feel the earth rumble when I typed those words out? Yes, that is me admitting I was wrong. I even apologized! It all started last Monday night when my husband and I fought over who was going to take Magdelicious to parent/tot class at the gym KayKay cheers for. We were actually fighting because we both wanted to take her. So I let him win and take her. I figured he is going to be in the field soon and I will welcome the help!

It took everything I had to stay in the parents viewing area and not go switch places with him. He was sweating and I didn't understand why. He was simply moving the lil one from station to station. He also let her run off and didn't try to get her back to her station. I guess I am more of a control freak then I thought. So I made fun of him and grilled him on why he was sweating, why he didn't have more control over her and why he didn't make her do more. I will take this time to remind you that she just turned 19 months last week.

Well, today I ate my words and took back everything I said to him last week. I attended lil M's class with her and it was the longest 35 minutes ever. Oh and her class is 45 minutes long, EJ finished the last 10 minutes with her. Yes, I tagged him in when I couldn't hold my need to pee any longer. And I didn't go back! Magdelicious has a mind of her own, very strong willed. She tested my patience and then some. KayKay had her cheerleading practice at the same time and that didn't help with keeping lil M's attention on her own class. I was more frustrated that the teacher expected a 19 month old to be able to understand and obey every command. I maybe expected to much out of the class or too much out of my daughter. But the most important thing is that she loves the class and has fun even with her mean old mom making her stay at her station.

Dad is taking her next week. And hopefully the next one after that. Seriously...

Lesson learned...don't use your dentures as a weapon!

A gentleman(term used loosely) came into the office yesterday and asked Dr. Wonderful if he could fix his denture. Dr. W looked at them and told him he could. He tried explaining how his top denture could have cracked like it did, giving him all the scenarios. Well the guy stopped him and said "oh no, I took them out and threw them at her(pointing to the woman with him) and she stepped on them". I swear to you, word for word that is what he said. The woman, just smiled. Dr. W told him it would take him a couple hours to get them fixed and asked if they could come back later for them. He said that wouldn't be a problem. He had to go to court and that would take a while. Really folks, that was the highlight of my day! I giggled all day thinking of how that scene must have played out! Seriously...