Farm life

Farm life
Farm girls look beautiful to get dirty

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

I may never walk in my yard again...

I am the mower of the lawn at our house. Mainly because I enjoy it but partly because it gives me a couple hours of no girls whining trying to get my attention. If you have been an avid reader of my blog you would already know that the lawn mower has taken advantage of me. Really. So last night my husband brought home the mower(it is used to mow all the farms) and I took that as my hint to get my ass on the mower. I started after Makayla got home from school. It only lasted about 20 minutes because her and Grace decided to push the door bell about 32 times. Que screaming one year old. Right before I call it quits I see something shoot out of the mower. I assume I ran over a mouse. I park the mower and don't get back to it until roughly 6ish. I am cruising along, enjoying the peace and quiet and dirt and bugs flying in my face. I thoroughly enjoy mouthing to Makayla that I can't hear her when she rides by on her bike, me not slowing down one bit. Whatever she has to tell me can wait. I check to make sure the house isn't on fire or she isn't bleeding first. Well while the family is on the deck I am going back to where I mowed the "mouse" and see a bloody mess in the yard. We are talking the size of a dinner plate mess. I get a little closer and notice it is dead, obviously, that is what going to Normal Community High School gets you, a good education!! I see it is "open" and that the outside of this mess is black and silver and......scaly!!!!!!!! Oh my f*ing sweet butter cream I f*ing mowed over a SNAKE!!!!!! Oh God, oh God, oh God. I high tail it over to the deck and force my husband to go over to the "mess" and tell me it is a frog, lizard, iguana(we don't typically have them in IL), anything other then a snake. Oh God, oh God, oh God. My husband promised me years ago that we live in a very unusual area that DOES NOT have snakes. Clearly he was lying to me. Yes, for my sanity, but still. I want to go back to yesterday when I thought snakes did not come near this area. How am I going to go outside again? Seriously...

5 comments:

  1. It was lost. Shouldn't have been in your yard (obviously because you killed the slimy thing!!). Leave the mess there as a warning to any other scaly creatures that may accidentally slither through not understanding that your yard is snake free! It's a sign that says "This chick does NOT mess around!"

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  2. Thanks Jodi...I was all for leaving the mess to ward off possible snake intruders. Unfortunately my husband didn't agree. He thought our dog bringing us pieces would probably send me to the 4th floor of the hospital! I appreciated him thinking of me and valuing my sanity!

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  3. I only wish Mr. Sarcasm had the video camera on to catch you hightailing it back to the house....I knew I read your blog in the bathroom for a reason! Pee your pants funny....

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  4. Don't tell Connie, she'll never come over again!
    I mowed over a toad last week. Maybe we should quit mowing!!!!
    S.

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